Day five

FANTASTIC day at the zoo with the munchie. I need to sit down and write. I am learning lots as I embrace each day.

Day four

It is very hard to keep walking forward without looking at the past with regret. It is a moment by moment battle. If I get caught up regret for the past I stop living in the present. I am determined to enjoy the present with the gifts I have been given. Tomorrow will be a day of adventures and living in the moment with my munchkin. We are headed to the SF Zoo.

Night!

Day three

Wash, rinse and repeat of Day 1.

Day two

:-) Hopeful today. Circumstances have not changed, but I am still choosing a positive perspective. You only have one life... LIVE IT. I have no intention of simply being a spectator any longer.

Wind

The wind is blowing tonight. I feel change coming in it. I find myself wanting to go out and just sit in the wind, sit in the wind and listen. Let it blow over me and possible quiet the storm in my heart and mind. Let my spirit feel what is coming. I am not sure if I should be afraid or just run with whatever it might be. I know with all that is in me that change needs to come. However, I find myself fearful of what that change could mean. Even when things are broken, it can often appear easier to live within the brokenness as it is familiar. I am reminded of a picture I received years ago. I had been through a devastating experience. While trying to process it one night, as I sat in the dark I saw a shelf with a clay heart. Something caused the shelf the rock and the heart fell and shattered. I saw my hands frantically scrambling to pick the shards up. I wanted to badly to hold onto the pieces tightly so I could fix it, but when I looked down at my hands they were sliced opened and bloodied. Gaping wounds in my hands. The very thing I was trying so desperately to hold together and fix was causing more injury. I sit here now afraid to look and see what I am holding onto that it is time to let go of. What am I holding onto that I need to loosen my grip on and let slide away. I am afraid to look.

Day one

The journey begins. Today I get to try out a new perspective, a perspective where I choose to see the positive, choose to laugh and choose to be myself. I am not sure about you, but I am terrible about just letting myself be, just that, myself. I have a tendency to meld to what I think people want me to be. A terrible habit for sure. Today marks day one of breaking that habit. A chance to begin anew and ENJOY. Not being myself does not feel right. It certainly takes a lot of enjoyment out of life. I realize how much I like to laugh, how odd my sense of humor is, yet how much others laugh and enjoy it when I let it out. Yay for a new day! Yay for the life stretched out in front of me! Hooray for the opportunity to set the past behind and move beyond the regrets of opportunities not seized, chances not taken. Life is not over yet, I am who I am today and will seize the opportunities before me to grow and enjoy tomorrow.

Packing my bags

It is time to start writing again. The thoughts here will not always be the most coherent, this is the place where I choose to come and sort out my thoughts. It will be a travel journal of sorts. Tomorrow marks day one of a new journey. I know where my starting point is... where am I headed?