Wind

The wind is blowing tonight. I feel change coming in it. I find myself wanting to go out and just sit in the wind, sit in the wind and listen. Let it blow over me and possible quiet the storm in my heart and mind. Let my spirit feel what is coming. I am not sure if I should be afraid or just run with whatever it might be. I know with all that is in me that change needs to come. However, I find myself fearful of what that change could mean. Even when things are broken, it can often appear easier to live within the brokenness as it is familiar. I am reminded of a picture I received years ago. I had been through a devastating experience. While trying to process it one night, as I sat in the dark I saw a shelf with a clay heart. Something caused the shelf the rock and the heart fell and shattered. I saw my hands frantically scrambling to pick the shards up. I wanted to badly to hold onto the pieces tightly so I could fix it, but when I looked down at my hands they were sliced opened and bloodied. Gaping wounds in my hands. The very thing I was trying so desperately to hold together and fix was causing more injury. I sit here now afraid to look and see what I am holding onto that it is time to let go of. What am I holding onto that I need to loosen my grip on and let slide away. I am afraid to look.