Well, after our first attempt last night to hit the road (turned back due to weather and traffic) we ended up leaving at 5am for Redding. We are now here at the Healing Rooms (Ash's request). While we wait for her, I am sitting in HeBrews with a group of treasure hunters at the table next to me. What a TRIP! So fun to listen to them and to watch. As I sat down they happened upon a treasure. So very fun to listen to them all pray. They surrounded this guy... it was awesome. As I watch and listen it makes me wish I was more bold. I am not sure why I am so timid as far as sharing what I believe. I would say that a good portion of those I know away from church would have no idea I am a Christian. Not because my life is so opposite of what they would perceive a Christian to be (well, maybe in some ways I'm not!), but simply because I do not share it. They are usually pretty fascinated to realize that I am not a partier, I live a pretty clean life (to their standards), but I never share where my heart is. Why? Am I ashamed of my faith? Afraid of what others think? Afraid that my way of walking out my faith is wrong and therefore a bad example to others? Probably a little bit of all of it in a way. I am not ashamed of my faith, I am ashamed of what I see when I look in the mirror. Ashamed of who I have been and the history that is my life. I am bad at expressing what I believe and why. I do not do well with theological discussions. For me it has been simple, I know what my life was before Christ. I know what my life is now that He is a part of it and I know that God is what made the difference. Period. What is there in that to defend when people question how I could believe what I do? When cornered I am left feeling lost and like a horrible Christ follower. All due to being lousy at defending what I believe other that to say I know what and who saved me and I know without Him I would be lost.
The treasure hunters all left in search in more treasure around the city. I am sorry to see them so. The energy they radiated was so warm. Their excitement spoke to something deep in me that has been so icy cold for ages now. Papa?
Freedom
Peace
Calm
Loved even still
To me you sound like one of the best theologians in the NT....the blind man healed when Jesus put mud on his eyes. When the religious leaders came questioning him about who Jesus was, his answer was simple. He said he only knew one thing, he was blind but now he could see....and it was because of what Jesus did for him. Such a straightforward answer, the religious leaders were left pretty much speechless.
ReplyDeleteDidn't realize my google profile wasn't showing my name so you wouldn't know it was me making the comment....hopefully I've fixed that now.
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